BLUE!

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Friday, September 18, 2009

confused

don't know why i'm confused.

i want to hate myself but i know that it's not the right thing to do.
it's hard for me to see THEIR profiles in friendster.
i made a problem and i'm the one suffering.

first, it was only a joke.
then [ms hot] did it.
HE became angry ... so angry ..
HE changed his pic too .

i want to talk to him in private but i don't know what to say and i can't even face him.
he's always with his friends.
he doesn't reply on my SMS.,., even if he replies, TWO to TEN words only .

i don't know if he's serious or what.
maybe i'm just too numb to feel he's not serious?
maybe i'm using my stupid side again because i fell for him?

am i stupid or numb or just plain BAD ?
am i an idiot for being jealous with a TEACHER ?
can i face another day in school without knowing that i'm the one behind all of my troubles ?

what am i going to do ?
stay still and do nothing ?
or say what i want to say even though it may lead to something terrible.

i've decided to not interfere with their relationship as a TEACHER-STUDENT.
and i mustn't get jealous because i know that it's just for fun.

but still .
there's this side of my brain thinking
WHAT IF he likes HER more than ME ?
maybe i'm just imagining things .

i hope that whatever things may happen, may it be for the benefit of all of US.
especially to HIM and ME .

? recollection [july 24, 2009] ? yesterday ,, ? zero one ? an average day ? ? favorite classroom catchlines ? nineteen !! ? three wonderful days ? new crush ? love it BAYBEH... ? TESTIMONY