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Saturday, October 2, 2010

YESTERDAY
October 1, 2010

i cried soooo hard that my eyes hurt so much and it's all swollen.

we were training for volleyball. it rained hard. so we were forced to sit down.
ms. joy talked to us. no wait. talk isn't the right word. SCOLDING describes it better.
so she was shouting to us. very angry. we were all QUIET. she was always scolding me and i felt sooooooo down and angry about myself. she walked away from us with Kuya Ron, her former student. then Arielle TRIED to talk to us so we moved close. then Herda asked if i was ok because i was really quiet and it was really not a good sign if i'm quiet. i answerd with a shrug and Rianne said that it would be fine. i can't take it anymore. i hugged Rianne and cried so hard. then ms joy suddenly came and asked why i was crying. i said it was nothing. she asked if i was angry at her. i said no and walked away. i went to get something from my bag when i noticed one of my bags was missing. i went back to the group and ms joy was still there. she asked me why i was crying and again i said it was nothing. then she offered her arms to let me hug her. i hugged her and i started to bawl like a child. she hugged me tight and comforted me. she asked again why i was crying and i said that i felt that because of me, the team got scolded. i took all the blame. i said i don't know why i was like that and i kept on apologizing. she said it was ok and she still told me what i my flaws were. i said sorry for like a hundred times. i was crying so hard on her shoulders. i just don't know what to do. then i let go. i was still crying though. she said "stop crying". i forced myself but it wasn't easy. i asked my teammates if they had seen my bag. i said the whole bag is missing and my wallet and cellphone were there. i searched and i got frustrated i started to cry again. it was so childish but it really helped me. i saw my bag with those of the cheerdancers. i don't know how it got there but it was there. i changed clothes. i saw Sir Tapia and i cried again. i just can;t help but cry. he said we should go to the chapel. we went there. we were followed by ms joy and kuya Ron. she talked to me and introduced me to kuya Ron. she said he was like the Jonelle is CSF [Colegio de San Fransisco]. tears were in my eyes because he was a SETTER and i was too. i feel so SMALL! but she said it's not like that. he was like me because he was always with ms joy too. so i see. then went to the jeep.... blah blah blah.. i can't explain further because ms joy forbid me to. but i was really happy after crying. it's like my chest is so heavy and then i cried and it was all gone. i'm just thankful that God gave me friends like my teammates and ms joy to help me during those troubled times.

If u need to cry
I`ll be your shoulder.
If u need to be happy
I`ll be your smile.
If u need a friend
I will just be me.

? -- unkown title -- ? wachudoin? ? Temple Trip ? shooting star ? all smiles ? freaky monday ? second ? Cellphone Quotes ? bad day ? MUSICALS